His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
