Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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