i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
