I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
