did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
