therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
