my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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