I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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