Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
