So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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