Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
