Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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