I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
