Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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