At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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