If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
