you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
