I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
