The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
40s are totally the cure
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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