he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
