Sponge bath it is.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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