I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't deserve a penis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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