I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
