Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
