I hate your face
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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