Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
