Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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