then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
