the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
