god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
