Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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