we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
