Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
