You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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