I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
