just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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