Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
