is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
