My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
