Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
