this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's just like the Real World with babies
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
40s are totally the cure
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
