You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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