Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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