if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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