His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
