dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
