I wanna bring you to show and tell
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
