i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
