what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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