This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
