I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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