it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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